A Goodbye

This assignment has helped me to learn a lot that I wouldn't have otherwise. I thought it was very interesting to find new information on a disorder that I have experience with. Thank you for reading along, and I hope you learned something as well!

Still Learning

I've recently been lucky enough to do a few assignments for different courses using the topic of trichotillomania. While doing this, I've been able to find a little more information to help me understand what it is I'm dealing with.

For example, I learned that a condition called alopecia, or alopecia areata, is often tied with having trichotillomania. Alopecia is the absence of hair on the body in an area where hair would normally grow. Alopecia is also described as baldness. It is an autoimmune disorder where the immune system attacks a person's hair follicles. There are some instances of trichotillomania that leads to alopecia where a person's hair begin to grow back after a year or so, but it's also pretty common for the baldness to be permanent.

Trichotillomania is also frequently mistaken for OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Trich is compulsion disorder, but it is not the same as OCD. However, these two conditions can co-exist within a person.

It has been estimated that roughly 2% of the general population of Americans have trichotillomania, and many of them have no idea what it is.

Childhood trauma, high stress levels, and neurochemical imbalances have been discovered to be some of the top causes of reported trich cases.

The top treatments for trichotillomania thus far are just general behavioral therapy, psychotherapy, and emotional support.

the feelings trich has brought to me

This post does not mean that everyone with trich feels this way, but I thought I would share some of the ways trichotillomania makes me feel.

• Shame: Pulling out my hair has always made me feel ashamed of myself. I know it can make me look "crazy" to some. Every time I pull my hair I want to hideaway in a corner of my bedroom forever

• Anger: I'm angry that I can't control it, I can't stop ripping my hair out. I even pull without knowing that I did and the only giveaway is the new bald spot on my body, one of the most frustrating details of my day-to-day life. I'm angry that I can't just make myself stop. It feels like someone else is controlling my hands and I can't smack them away.

• Regret: I regret ever touching my hair in the first place. I regret pulling the first hair, and I regret pulling the thousandth hair. 

• Sadness: I'm sad that my hair isn't there anymore. It's sad to think that there are spots where my hair may never grow back. It's sad that I need to pull my hair to calm my nerves and feel okay. It's sad to think that I may never be able to fully stop. 

As I said in the beginning of this post, not everyone with trich will feel this way. These are common emotions tied with trichotillomania, though. There are also plenty videos about emotions and trich on youtube if you were ever wanting to compare how people with trichotillomania think and feel about it. 

Understanding... well, kind of.

I won't deny that trichotillomania effects the people around you, but in most cases the other people don't see how much worse it is for the person who actually has trich. It's a hard thing to explain, and it's just as hard to understand it. I was recently shown a video that I would like to share with you. This video includes some fathers of people with trich telling the audience how their child's trichotillomania made them feel and how they came to realize that their child isn't doing it on purpose; tirchotillomania is not a way of rebelling, it's not a way of "sticking it to the man," we don't have one hundred percent control over our trich, it tries to control us. 

We all just need to sit back and try to grasp an understanding of what trichotillomania is and how it effects us. We are not our trichotillomania, we are still people. 

A Little Bit of Daily Life

This post wont be true for every person with trichotillomania, but it is true in my case.

Little things that happen throughout the day can often cause my trich to act up, and most of the time I won't even notice.

"Well, when you realize that you're pulling you're hair you can stop yourself, right?"

It's not that easy, it varies on my surroundings a lot of the time. Two examples of different settings: if I'm at home by myself and begin to pull my, then it's not very easy to just stop pulling my hair out. However, if I'm at a friend's house and I start pulling my hair out, it's a little easier to stop myself since I know that there are other people around.

Any strong burst of negative emotion can make me feel the need to pull my hair out. Stress, anger, sadness, etc. I'll even start pulling out my hair in the middle of a conversation with a friend from time to time.

It can be easy to overwhelm yourself without even realizing that it's happening. Letting everything build up and add pressure to your daily routine can be pretty hazardous. In my case, I begin to pull hair out at a faster rate than usual when I get overwhelmed.

Trichotillomania is difficult to deal with and usually adds even more stress to daily life, which is really a bummer for us "trichsters," because the last thing we need is more stress.

I would like to share a quote that may help some of you to get a better idea of what it's like having trichotillomania:

"It's stronger than I, she says, this idea, this need is after me all the time. The movement happens by itself, there is something in my arms that pulls me along irresistibly. If I resist I have these irritable and stifling feelings which are totally unbearable, I just have to give into this need ..."
-Dan Stein, Trichotillomania (1999)

Things To NOT Say To Someone With Trichotillomania

"I liked your long hair better."

"Why do you have a bald spot?"

"Where are your eyebrows?"

"How come you don't have any eyelashes?"

"Why do you keep fidgeting?"

You may be asking something like:
Why shouldn't I say these things to this person? What harm could it do? It's obvious that their hair is gone, so why can't I ask?

There are simple answers to this.
You should avoid saying/asking these things to someone with trich because it can often trigger someone's trichotillomania. It can also make the person feel very uncomfortable, and they may want to avoid carrying on any conversations with you out of fear that you'll bring it up more than just the once. Having to explain trichotillomania to someone can be a really stressful task, and stress can often cause trich to flare up.
If you're questioning whether or not you should ask the person a question that has to do with their hair, it's probably best to just avoid asking that question.

People with trich are often afraid that the only thing people notice about them is their lack of hair, and it's actually kind of scary trying to talk to someone new when you're worried that they'll bring up anything to do with their hair.

In my opinion, if you notice hair missing on someone where you think they should have hair, it's best to just not ask about it. If they become comfortable enough, the person will tell you about their trichotillomania on their own.

Be respectful! ☺

How To Find A Distraction

In my experience, I have found very few things to help distract me from my trichotillomania. I am still gathering tips and tricks to help with trich, but here are a few I have discovered:

1.  Tangle puzzles 
2. Spinner rings
3. Sewing
4. Painting
5. Cooking
6. Acrylic nails

Even though I have had trichotillomania since middle school, I have not found very many effective tips for myself, however that wouldn't mean that different things wouldn't work for different people. For example, some people seem to be able to use writing as a tool for distraction.

My advice for anyone looking for a way to distract themselves is to experiment with different activities that you can lose yourself in. As I said before, different things work for different people. An activity that works for another person with trich may not work for you, which is completely okay!